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Dating & Relating

http://going.com/dating

1423 members

Subgroup of Boston Happy Hour

Send to Friends

Love, dating, relationships..and yeah, sex. Let's talk. Share your frustrations, talk about what's going on in your love life. Tell us what you're looking for in your match.

http://boston.going.com/dating

Unfortunately, there have been folks on here acting badly here in the past. Because of this the following rules have been posted for the group:

You are supposed to be an adult. Act like one!
Stay on topic. This list is about Dating & Relating. If you want to go off topic, then take it private or onto another group.
Be friendly, civil and respectful. This is not the place for personal attacks. Referring to people in derogatory terms is completely unacceptable. (see rule #1)
Offensive posts will not be tolerated. Objectionable messages will be removed. (see rule #1)
Spamming this group by promoting an event unrelated to the Dating & Relating group is not allowed.

Jas (Jazzie)

RE: To be cheated on.

yeah... dont plan on going back together or anything, just in general... what if the opportunity were to come up... but i highly doubt that i am desperate enough to get back w/ someone who's a total ass.

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Comments (6523)

Jas (Jazzie)

To be cheated on. + -

Jas (Jazzie) Yesterday at 1:30 PM

5 posts

43 views

<message deleted>

Jas (Jazzie) said "Is it pathetic to be cheated on and still want to get back together with your ex?"

Is it pathetic to be cheated on and still want to get back together with your ex?
1. Shanita
  
  RE: To be cheated on. + -
  
  Shanita Yesterday at 2:11 PM
  
  2 posts
  
  43 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  Shanita said "Yes, it is pathetic."
  
  Yes, it is pathetic.
  1. Brealon
    
    RE: To be cheated on. + -
    
    Brealon Yesterday at 3:31 PM
    
    1 post
    
    43 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    Brealon said "baby, if i cheat on you, and you get back with me? im gonna cheat on you again."
    
    baby, if i cheat on you, and you get back with me?
    im gonna cheat on you again.
2. SUVs R wasteful
  
  RE: To be cheated on. + -
  
  SUVs R wasteful Today at 1:32 PM
  
  2 posts
  
  43 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  SUVs R wasteful said "Ouch! Sorry to hear that happened to you. :`-("
  
  Ouch! Sorry to hear that happened to you.
  
  :`-(
  1. Jas (Jazzie)
    
    RE: To be cheated on. + -
    
    Jas (Jazzie) Today at 1:46 PM
    
    1 post
    
    43 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    Jas (Jazzie) said "yeah... dont plan on going back together or anything, just in general... what if the opportunity were to come up... "
    
    yeah... dont plan on going back together or anything, just in general... what if the opportunity were to come up... but i highly doubt that i am desperate enough to get back w/ someone who's a total ass.
Last post 11 mins ago
ferrin

I am high on a bit of java.... + -

ferrin Yesterday at 2:13 PM

5 posts

36 views

<message deleted>

ferrin said "I am high on java and Adderal (haha got hooked up with it through a friend). So, I am going to start a topic..hooray"

I am high on java and Adderal (haha got hooked up with it through a friend). So, I am going to start a topic..hooray!!!
Last night, I slept with my best friend, Tony. I love him and whenever we have sex it is extraordinary! He's a good man, but I just cannot see a relationship sprouting with him.
First of all he has an open marriage with another gal. On top of that he's not at all wealthy. Then, as superficial as this may sound, he's got a big belly and a small dick.
Other than the things listed above, he would be perfect for me. Of course, I would not break up his marriage, but I could see myself as his concubine, permanently.
What do you folks think I should do? Is there anything I can do or should I just keep things the way they are?
1. Ofer
  
  RE: I am high on a bit of java.... + -
  
  Ofer Yesterday at 4:46 PM
  
  4 posts
  
  36 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  Ofer said "It sounds like you both are happy with things as they are. What reason is there to change it? (I'm not saying there'"
  
  It sounds like you both are happy with things as they are. What reason is there to change it? (I'm not saying there's no reason to change it, I'm just asking if there is one, because if there is, you didn't show it in your message)
  1. ferrin
    
    RE: I am high on a bit of java.... + -
    
    ferrin Yesterday at 5:46 PM
    
    3 posts
    
    36 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    ferrin said "Thanks for that...I'll follow your advice."
    
    Thanks for that...I'll follow your advice.
    1. EvilTwin
      
      RE: I am high on a bit of java.... + -
      
      EvilTwin Today at 1:24 PM
      
      2 posts
      
      36 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      EvilTwin said "Wait? Huh? Im confused. If he has a big belly and a small pennis? How is the sex extraordinary?"
      
      Wait? Huh? Im confused. If he has a big belly and a small pennis? How is the sex extraordinary?
      1. SUVs R wasteful
        
        RE: I am high on a bit of java.... + -
        
        SUVs R wasteful Today at 1:30 PM
        
        1 post
        
        36 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        SUVs R wasteful said "Oral? Hahaha"
        
        Oral?
        
        Hahaha
Last post 27 mins ago
vernessa

Lose love... + -

vernessa Yesterday at 3:44 PM

2 posts

18 views

<message deleted>

vernessa said "Hey�€�question, A few months ago this guy was head over me but I was not giving him the time or day becau"

Heyâ€¦question,

A few months ago this guy was head over me but I was not giving him the time or day because I was dating someone at the time. But now that I am single and had some time to myself to think about what I want in a relationship, I now want to be with him. But now he has a girlfriend. Do I tell him how I feel? Or just let us stay friends. Even though I am currently dating someone, I think about this other guy all the time and I enjoy spending every second with him. What do I do??? I would not like to lose him as a friend.
1. EvilTwin
  
  RE: Lose love... + -
  
  EvilTwin Today at 1:27 PM
  
  1 post
  
  18 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  EvilTwin said "Hey Question Why did you post this twice?"
  
  Hey Question
  
  Why did you post this twice?
Last post 30 mins ago
vernessa

Lose love... + -

vernessa Yesterday at 3:44 PM

3 posts

23 views

<message deleted>

vernessa said "Hey�€�question, A few months ago this guy was head over me but I was not giving him the time or day becau"

Heyâ€¦question,

A few months ago this guy was head over me but I was not giving him the time or day because I was dating someone at the time. But now that I am single and had some time to myself to think about what I want in a relationship, I now want to be with him. But now he has a girlfriend. Do I tell him how I feel? Or just let us stay friends. Even though I am currently dating someone, I think about this other guy all the time and I enjoy spending every second with him. What do I do??? I would not like to lose him as a friend.
1. Ofer
  
  RE: Lose love... + -
  
  Ofer Yesterday at 4:48 PM
  
  2 posts
  
  23 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  Ofer said "If you can tell him that you'd be interested if only he were available, in a way that *doesn't* make him feel pressu"
  
  If you can tell him that you'd be interested if only he were available, in a way that *doesn't* make him feel pressured or make it seem like you need him to do something about it now, then tell him. Maybe if he becomes available and he's interested, he'll let you know at that time, because knowing that you're interested already makes it easier. But you have to really be satisfied with just letting him know, and not expecting him to do anything about it now, because if you're not satisfied with that I think it would show somehow and he'd feel uncomfortable.
  1. EvilTwin
    
    RE: Lose love... + -
    
    EvilTwin Today at 1:26 PM
    
    1 post
    
    23 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    EvilTwin said "Just tell him the truth. Maybe he doesn't even like his new GF. You never know."
    
    Just tell him the truth. Maybe he doesn't even like his new GF. You never know.
Last post 31 mins ago
Ms. Wow

Finding Friends + -

Ms. Wow Jul 15 at 2008, 2:28 PM

6 posts

35 views

<message deleted>

Ms. Wow said "My new years resolution was to make my circle of friends bigger and thus far it hasn't happened. I mean I go out a "

My new years resolution was to make my circle of friends bigger and thus far it hasn't happened. I mean I go out a lot. I have more male than friends than female. What is the secret behind trying to meet friends at an even and them not thinking that you are a lesbian or just plain creepy?
1. Nursey
  
  RE: Finding Friends + -
  
  Nursey Jul 15 at 2008, 3:16 PM
  
  1 post
  
  35 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  Nursey said "It's just hard to meet new friends period! I'd like to widen my social circle too.. but it is difficult. We should h"
  
  It's just hard to meet new friends period! I'd like to widen my social circle too.. but it is difficult. We should have a night out - just post and everyone try to meet up.. make new friends.. :)
2. ferrin
  
  RE: Finding Friends + -
  
  ferrin Jul 16 at 2008, 1:23 AM
  
  4 posts
  
  35 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  ferrin said "People are great! Aren't they?"
  
  People are great! Aren't they?
  1. ferrin
    
    RE: Finding Friends + -
    
    ferrin Jul 17 at 2008, 1:17 PM
    
    2 posts
    
    35 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    ferrin said "That was sort of a vauge response. Wasn't it? What I meant to say, except that I was too drunk to write it appropri"
    
    That was sort of a vauge response. Wasn't it? What I meant to say, except that I was too drunk to write it appropriately, is that everyone longs for some sort of companionship. People are in high demand.
    
    Friends are great to have. Even I do not have many friends, male or female. I am very selective in who I wanna call a bud. In fact, earlier this year, I broke up a friendship between another gal and I. I have no regrets about that choice.
    
    I just read through my post and do not see it pertaining much to your topic, Ms. Wow. I am sorry. Sometimes I'll use a soapbox to just babble.
    
    If not already I'd like to be your friend on here, Ms. Wow. If you accept my friend request you will have made your circle of friends bigger. I'm a good woman. You will enjoy my friendship.
    1. EvilTwin
      
      RE: Finding Friends + -
      
      EvilTwin Jul 18 at 2008, 12:24 PM
      
      1 post
      
      35 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      EvilTwin said "Yeah I know how it feels sometimes. Sometimes I really don't want to add new people to my X-Mas list. Sorry."
      
      Yeah I know how it feels sometimes. Sometimes I really don't want to add new people to my X-Mas list. Sorry.
  2. ferrin
    
    RE: Finding Friends + -
    
    ferrin Jul 17 at 2008, 1:18 PM
    
    1 post
    
    35 views
    
    <message deleted>
Last post 5 days ago
Arnold

Dazed and Confused + -

Arnold Apr 13 at 2008, 8:22 PM

60 posts

511 views

<message deleted>

Arnold said "I've never seen so many stuck up, one-track-mind goal oriented, emotionally lacking females in my life, since I've"

I've never seen so many stuck up, one-track-mind goal oriented,
emotionally lacking females in my life, since I've
moved to Boston. Seems like everywhere I go, all I see are girls
with mile high engagement rings, or ones with their head sooo stuck
up their asses, that communicating with them would be ultimate suicide
. Any suggestions where to meet some good looking,
intelligent, having a nice personality single females around here?
If so let me know whats up :-) Thanks

anagy11@hotmail.com
1. ferrin
  
  RE: Dazed and Confused + -
  
  ferrin Apr 13 at 2008, 8:36 PM
  
  7 posts
  
  511 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  ferrin said "I hear that about northeast-coast women all the time. If you are truly looking for a good down-to-earth woman come"
  
  I hear that about northeast-coast women all the time.
  If you are truly looking for a good down-to-earth woman come out west.
  1. Arnold
    
    RE: Dazed and Confused + -
    
    Arnold Apr 13 at 2008, 10:46 PM
    
    6 posts
    
    511 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    Arnold said "Come to Utah huh? lol... no thanks, I went to dental school in Cleveland, OH with a 75% Mormon population. It wa"
    
    Come to Utah huh? lol... no thanks, I went to dental school in
    Cleveland, OH with a 75% Mormon population. It was 4 years of the
    most boring time of my life. Needless to say, its not my cup of tea
    (but, never-the-less, big ups for the exceptions)
    1. ferrin
      
      RE: Dazed and Confused + -
      
      ferrin Apr 13 at 2008, 11:05 PM
      
      1 post
      
      511 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      ferrin said "I didn't say Utah. I said out west."
      
      I didn't say Utah. I said out west.
    2. Niressa
      
      RE: Dazed and Confused + -
      
      Niressa Apr 14 at 2008, 11:15 PM
      
      4 posts
      
      511 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      Niressa said "This is definitely a case of deja vu. Can't remember who brought this up before. While I understand how it can be s"
      
      This is definitely a case of deja vu. Can't remember who brought this up before. While I understand how it can be seen that the majority of women are very much like this in Boston, I am sure there must be some women with a good head on their shoulders and a great personality to boot. I think the demographic of college-fresh adults makes this a little tough to find. I am not full of suggestions as far as where to find such a catch. For me, I think it's best to meet new people, have fun, and who knows who you might meet. It's easy to get frustrated when you're "looking." Lots of luck ;)
      
      Btw, join the dark side...I promise we're fun http://boston.going.com/group-729;Lus...
      1. Jeff
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Jeff May 5 at 2008, 10:50 PM
        
        3 posts
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        Jeff said "There's a great bumper sticker out and about..."Join the Dark Side, We Have Cookies""
        
        There's a great bumper sticker out and about..."Join the Dark Side, We Have Cookies"
        
        Niressa
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Niressa May 6 at 2008, 1:01 AM
        
        1 post
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        Niressa said " http://www.noisebot.com/images/darkside2-... "
        
        http://www.noisebot.com/images/darkside2-...
        
        Niressa
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Niressa May 6 at 2008, 1:01 AM
        
        1 post
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
2. KC
  
  RE: Dazed and Confused + -
  
  KC Apr 13 at 2008, 9:48 PM
  
  1 post
  
  511 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  KC said "LOL.....such a recurring theme in this group about Boston! I empathize with you. There are some good ones out ther"
  
  LOL.....such a recurring theme in this group about Boston! I empathize with you. There are some good ones out there, you just need patience! It's not easy! Good luck Arnold!
3. John
  
  RE: Dazed and Confused + -
  
  John Apr 13 at 2008, 11:20 PM
  
  17 posts
  
  511 views
  
  <message deleted>
  
  John said "My buddies tell me the women in NYC are a total package. But it all depends on where you're fishing. Go to the wr"
  
  My buddies tell me the women in NYC are a total package. But it all depends on where you're fishing. Go to the wrong pond and you'll catch a virus. Go to the right pond and you'll mermaid.
  
  As for west coast dating, I seem to have better luck when I lived in LA. San Francisco is "NOT" the friendliest place when it comes to women. It just has fun things to do.
  
  Maybe this is a cultural thing happening in the US. Are women clamming up on us - and putting out a lot less? Or am I being paranoid? It definitely feel that way in San Francisco.... It's as if the women have gone into hibernation.
  
  Are US women positioning for a ring & a baby....or what?
  
  Can we get some honest feedback on this?
  
  -
  1. Arnold
    
    RE: Dazed and Confused + -
    
    Arnold Apr 13 at 2008, 11:54 PM
    
    13 posts
    
    511 views
    
    <message deleted>
    
    Arnold said "I have no problem "positioning for a ring and baby" as long as I meet that nice, down-to-earth, intelligent, good lo"
    
    I have no problem "positioning for a ring and baby" as long as I meet that nice, down-to-earth, intelligent, good looking, motherly female. The question that I proposed to start and is constantly being misinterpreted is: where are these females to start with? Now that I graduate, started working and just moved to Boston, it seems like things are at an all time low.
    1. kerry
      
      RE: Dazed and Confused + -
      
      kerry Apr 14 at 2008, 4:53 AM
      
      1 post
      
      511 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      kerry said "i think you might be noticing the difference between woman in an educational atmosphere apposed to the proffesinol "
      
      i think you might be noticing the difference between woman in an educational atmosphere apposed to the proffesinol atmosphere. When your in school every body getting there groove on and also you relate because of the common denominator, school. It's also smorgy bob time when your in college. every bodies sampling this and that, " hum, i think i'll try out a dental student today and an engineer tonight" right it's just fun times. Now the woman are out of school there trying to pay back student loans, move up the corparate ladder, exchange the 97 toyota for the 2007 m3, for them it's all about me, me , me. Now iv'e heard that it's 2-1 in New york , women to men, so i'd say Import, my man, import.
    2. KC
      
      RE: Dazed and Confused + -
      
      KC Apr 14 at 2008, 12:20 PM
      
      10 posts
      
      511 views
      
      <message deleted>
      
      KC said "Women and men from Boston are very defensive. If you live here long enough you can adopt that attitude. I don't kno"
      
      Women and men from Boston are very defensive. If you live here long enough you can adopt that attitude. I don't know if it is New England stoicism or what creeping in? You try to just have a person to person conversation and people think you are trying to pick them up or pull something over on them. I don't get it. Let's hope that by people bringing up the subject and discussing it, it helps the situation get better. Lately, I have thought is it getting better than I have seen in the past 7 years or so of being in Boston.
      1. Jim
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Jim Apr 14 at 2008, 12:55 PM
        
        9 posts
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        Jim said "I have no intention of leaving the Boston area, so I have to deal with the conditions that prevail. This is both "
        
        I have no intention of leaving the Boston area, so I have to deal with the conditions that prevail.
        
        This is both a bad thing and a good thing. Bad because I'm dealing with the perceived and actual conditions that you all have described in this string. My attitude is: It is what it is; I'll deal with it.
        
        It's good because I'm fairly well settled into my life here (after 3 years away), I'm making personal connections both socially and professionally, and I'm already meeting friends of friends and so on, so my "web" of connections is expanding. Sooner or later this will likely lead to dates and otherwise. Right now I'm doing what I want to do in order to pay the bills and make myself happy.
        
        The other good point is if someone wants to "eye-f***" me from a distance, I'll take it as a compliment, but I'm not exactly desperate for a date. If that woman who is admiring me wants to find out more about me, she can approach me. Women seem to be more empowered (and are entitled to be) in the Boston area, so in my opinion they can play the game too.
        
        KC
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        KC Apr 14 at 2008, 4:48 PM
        
        8 posts
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        KC said "I agree with you Jim, "It is what it is". I came to the same conclusion a while ago and accept that. I don't let it"
        
        I agree with you Jim, "It is what it is". I came to the same conclusion a while ago and accept that. I don't let it get to me, however, it doesn't mean it can't change or that by discussing it, it opens people's minds to change. When you just accept it and don't try to make something better, that's terrible in many cases.
        
        Jim
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Jim Apr 15 at 2008, 3:33 AM
        
        7 posts
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        Jim said "I appreciate your optimism KC, and you are right about trying to change the environment here. I'm open to discussin"
        
        I appreciate your optimism KC, and you are right about trying to change the environment here. I'm open to discussing anything if there's a possibility of improving the situation, but it's also been my experience that changes in people and culture happen slowly over time.
        
        Paul
        
        RE: Dazed and Confused + -
        
        Paul Apr 15 at 2008, 8:12 AM
        
        3 posts
        
        511 views
        
        <message deleted>
        
        Paul said "I feel like we keep having the same conversation here. :) I'm willing to accept that there has to be something t"
        
        I feel like we keep having the same conversation here. :)
        
        I'm willing to accept that there has to be something to whole "Boston is cold" theory because I hear it from so many people, but I think that one's attitude has just as much to do with it as anything else. Once you start accepting the whole "Boston is cold" attitude, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
        
        Now I'm certainly no male model or some agressive playa, just a nice friendly guy, but I've done okay meeting people and getting dates in and around Boston. Honestly, when I was meeting people and going to events from Going or if I were in a bar or elsewhere, I was never out for the quick pickup, just being friendly and talking with people and getting to know them. Yes, some dates came out of that, but honestly most dates that I've been on have been through online dating sites.
        
        Boston is only cold if you let it be.